Breaking the Silence of Shame: Jacqueline Grace Hayward’s Story

My guest this past week on KOWS Wise Woman Storytime was actor, director and drama therapist and teacher of improvisational theater, Jacqueline Grace Hayward.  Jacqueline shared her deeply personal story about shame; its impact on her life, and more importantly, how she has healed herself through creativity and sheer determination..  

Shame is the most primitive of emotions and yet it is rarely spoken aloud. Secrecy, silence and judgement fuel its fires.  Left unspoken, shame can fester over a lifetime creating an inner world of inadequacy, unworthiness, dishonor or regret.  It frequently leads to feelings of being flawed, bad and disconnected from our most essential being.  

But this is not a story about victimhood. Instead it is a woman’s journey about finding herself amidst feeling disconnected from her own truth and power.

Carol Gilligan said, “Bringing the experiences of women to full light, although in one sense perfectly straightforward, becomes a radical endeavor.”

Jacqueline Grace Hayward is speaking the unspeakable and breaking her silence. She speaks for the silenced and those guarding their secrets. Her story is truly a radical endeavor and an act of courage.

The link to the audio of the show is below.  If you would like to contact Jacqueline, you can reach her at

After the show aired I received the following from Jacqueline………She would like to share this with you. 

I had an extraordinary, deep experience after I left you. I went into the longest, deepest shame I have ever been in, and cried for hours. Then woke in the night and went back into it again, aching and sobbing. And I felt like a liar for having just said on the radio that I have almost got this shame thing licked! What was new, though, is that I was crying. I have never experienced shame and tears together before, and I felt as if I was simultaneously experiencing shame and grief. 
The open door for the shame was my answer to your question about how/ who I am now. My response was a negative, in a sense: that I still have work to do because I do not yet know that I can have the life I want. I felt such huge self-abandonment in that answer because what is moving through me now, as of last winter, is radically transformative. I let go of a life-long persona of being brave (which in my vocabulary is associated with being strong in the face of difficulty, lack, settling for, doing it all myself, the image of small fists raised…) and am practicing courage instead. Courage is soft, open, connected, receptive, self-loving and self-caring, the image of wide-spread arms. Courage, for me, as a woman who knows how to be strong and knows how to give, is opening into generously receiving, allowing myself to honor my heart’s desire and to invite in the experience of safety and ease. 


The link to the audio of the show is below.  If you would like to contact Jacqueline, you can reach her at

By Roberta Teller

Listener discretion advised as it includes some sexual content.

Mary Carouba: Each One Teach One

My guest this past week on Wise woman Storytime , Mary Carouba, had some hard beginnings.  A troubled childhood took her on a path of numbing out, acting out and giving up on life. Bottomed out in her early 20’s, life seemed dismal and hopeless.  Mary didn’t know who she was, had no idea what life might have to offer and truly thought that she would not live a long life.

But life didn’t work out that way.  When Mary entered Delancey Street  her life and her outlook on life would forever be changed. It was there that Mary discovered who really she was – and it wasn’t that numbed out drug addict- but instead a woman with tremendous gifts, a loving and caring heart and someone who understood the power of reaching out and helping others, known in the community as “Each one teach one.”

Today, Mary lives by Delancy Street’s credo. She has infused this philosophy into every aspect of her many careers, her life and  world view.  Whether through her profession as a treatment program coordinator, social worker, consultant, stand-up comic or her speaking engagements, writings,  service and work, Mary is dedicated to helping others,  She is committed to helping others see the endless possibilities for their own lives and through her own example offers hope and possibility for all.

Mary Carouba walks the talk.  “Each one teach one”  is at the heart of who she is and how she lives. Listen to her inspiring story.  There are lessons here for all of us.

By Roberta Teller


Two Hearts Four Hands Cooking Together: Sulin Bell’s Story






My guest this week on Wise Woman Storytime is entrepreneur extraordinaire and author Sulin Bell.  Sulin’s newly revised cookbook is called Two Hearts Four Hands Cooking Together, and is as unique and original as she is.

This very specially designed and crafted cookbook is really a metaphor and manifestation of the the most important threads of Sulin’s life. It’s a testament to her convictions about living fully and healthily and offers 25 nutritious and delicious meal menus (with several dishes) for two people to prepare together. This one of a kind cookbook provides separate but interactive instructions for each cook.

Two Hearts Four Hands is quite different from your typical cookbook It’s way more than just putting some ingredients together and serving it to yourself, friends or family.  This cookbook is a recipe for quality time with a loved one, good fun, and a shared creative endeavor. It’s about a lovingly crafted and guided collaborative cooking experience culminating with a delicious and nourishing meal………Meals can be tailored to your individual intentions and moods such as “Feelin’ Homey, “Romantic,” or “A New Relationship.”

And while how you choose to share your food is ultimately up to you, Sulin offers thoughtful suggestions for creating the right ambience whether you are cooking with your lover, spouse, friend, child  or acquaintance. She even offers music to accompany you while you are preparing your meal.

This is a very special book written by an amazing woman.  It’s a wonderful engagement, wedding, anniversary, holiday or special gift for yourself.

To hear Sulin’s story click on the audio link below. 

For more information and a closer look at the cookbook, check out her website at .

If you are a west county local, Two Hearts Four Hands is available at Cultivate Home on Main Street in Sebastopol.

If you have a questions about the book or are looking for a caterer, you can contact Sulin at

And when you are ready to order the book, call Sulin directly at 707-462-5747 and get free shipping.

It’s a wonderful engagement, wedding, anniversary, holiday or special gift for yourself.

By Roberta Teller